The basis of recovery in ten stages is understanding, not blame, guilt or shame.

The basis of recovery in ten stages is understanding, not blame, guilt or shame. First, we need to understand that the abuser must have lived in ignorance and deprivation, without support, guidance ; the overwhelming power of ignorance drove him or her to do wrong. If the abused person can begin to understand just a little bit, then anger, shame and outrage can transform into droplets of compassion, and through meditational practice, suffering can diminish. When forgiveness and understanding are present, suffering decreases.