First Contact with The Child Within

Contacting The Child within us: We were all once children, and still have that child dwelling within us. But most of us are unaware of this.

 

Fraser Trevor Fraser Trevor Author
Title: Unfortunately or fortunately depending on your stance pain and a certain amount of suffering are byproduct of the stages growth process.
Author: Fraser Trevor
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Unfortunately or fortunately depending on your stance pain and a certain amount of suffering are byproduct of the stages growth process. E...
Unfortunately or fortunately depending on your stance pain and a certain amount of suffering are byproduct of the stages growth process. Emotional growth stretches the limits of our personality, and this is unpleasant. At some level our personalities want to remain static and fixed, and become rigid as such, even for the most growth-oriented people. Even children. If our child within is not compelled to grow, motivated deeply and intensely from within – by our deep inner spirit, our life forces, our passion – we wouldn’t be able to put up with the pain of growth. Growing is not fun. Its consequences may feel wonderful over the long haul, but its process is awkward, uncomfortable, and anxiety-producing at first.

Growth is humbling. Growth requires vulnerability. Crayfish are a wonderful metaphor here: to grow they must shed their protective exoskeleton, because with their tough skin intact their soft underbody cannot expand. So periodically throughout their lives they shed their skin, expose their softness to the world, and grow radically. But this is also their time of highest risk, as their claws are now soft and useless and their backs pierceable. The same fish and frogs they spend their lives eating can suddenly turn around and eat them back. Thus, during this time they must protect themselves. Generally they crawl under a rock and hide, doing their growth in a private, safe space, not unlike the bamboo gardens, a confidential journal, or a sanctuary for meditation.


We who cannot handle the pain and vulnerability of growth are consigned to stay stuck in life. We must keep our true selves buried from the world’s eye and from our own. We cannot face our full range of feelings because this is too dangerous. These feeling tell the truth. We must instead act out our inner truth – our buried pain and rage – in disguised form, through addictions and self-destructive behaviours and inappropriate relationships (most notably with our own children), and even physical illness. The child within tells the truth when the conscious mind cannot.

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