First Contact with The Child Within

Now that we have completed the stages we believe that we do have a true child within that lives under the mounds of unresolved childhood trauma

Fraser Trevor

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Title: Now that we have completed the stages we believe that we do have a true child within that lives under the mounds of unresolved childhood trauma
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Now that we have completed the stages we believe that we do have a true child within that lives under the mounds of unresolved childhood t...

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<span style="font-size: large;">Now that we have completed the stages we believe that we do have a true child within that lives under the mounds of unresolved childhood trauma, we will our best of looking within to find out what else might be just be inside us. We will take an emotional inventory of the traumas foisted on us when we were children,  which will just tell us that we are a lot more miserable and disturbed than we delude ourself into believing this will reveal to us the discovery that our parents really did mess us up worse than we thought, and that the upwelling of pain coming from that potential discovery might want to drive me back into my old patterns of dissociation. So instead of sticking with a “moral” inventory, and just study our morals, our own “badness” and hurtful behaviour – which is convenient considering we have already been brought up to believe firmly that we have no true child within and that the parental voice is all powerful (a Lie) . We regain the freedom for our child within and from these crazy making behaviours.This will really root us into the deepest recovery which is available to all.</span>

Now that we have completed the stages we believe that we do have a true child within that lives under the mounds of unresolved childhood trauma

Now that we have completed the stages we believe that we do have a true child within that lives under the mounds of unresolved childhood t...

Gentle contact with the child within. Our child within has often been ignored or banishes for a considerable time span.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Gentle contact with the child within. Our child within has often been ignored or banishes for a considerable time span.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Gentle contact with the child within. Our child within has often been ignored or banishes for a considerable time span. The most importa...

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<br />Gentle contact with the child within. Our child within has often been ignored or banishes for a considerable time span. The most important thing to do when you feel the child's distress is simply to listen without running away or trying to fix it and make it all better. The child maybe raging, angry and disbelieving If you can, find a safe and quiet place where you can speak quietly out loud to the child. Tell your child within you intend to listen, do not make any demands or ask what the matter is.The child will express these sometimes vehemently, sometimes defeatedly asking for a period of mourning and grief.The child within has been locked away in a prison of our making a dark basement hidden in a corner,<br /><br /> <br /><br />Listen for our new feelings and emotions --don't be too quick to ask, "Why?" or "What caused this?" Our Child within often needs to cry and experience a whole gamut of newly released emotions before we can start to re-introduce trust.  The causes are often dis-respect of the child--a disapproving glance from someone or an off-hand remark. We find that these dis-respects are stirring up old issues like parental disapproval or our mother's disbelief about what happened to me when we were little...<br /><br /> <br /><br />Just sit. Be available. Listen. Feel the feelings. Sometimes you may be entirely inside the feelings, just like the child. That's OK. Watch yourself, and identify your parental voice when you use it the child disappears shrinks back into the shadows that is the experience of the child. meanwhile, and notice when you may be able to become the playtime respectful friend for our needy child within.. These are important turning points in our relationship to the child within. These turns happen over and over. It's not done all at once. Like a small bird trapped in a room open the windows and doors of our personality and emotions to allow the child to fly into recovery.<div class="zemanta-related" style="clear: both; margin-top: 20px; overflow: hidden;">
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Gentle contact with the child within. Our child within has often been ignored or banishes for a considerable time span.

Gentle contact with the child within. Our child within has often been ignored or banishes for a considerable time span. The most importa...

I learned the importance of contact, affection and play. Reassurance. And the importance of distracting rather than punishing when the infant is too small to understand, and then gradually teaching rules.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: I learned the importance of contact, affection and play. Reassurance. And the importance of distracting rather than punishing when the infant is too small to understand, and then gradually teaching rules.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

On living with chimpanzees: "I learned the importance of contact, affection and play. Reassurance. And the importance of distrac...

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On living with chimpanzees:</div>
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"I learned the importance of contact, affection and play. Reassurance. And the importance of distracting rather than punishing when the infant is too small to understand, and then gradually teaching rules. That was the great thing about being out in the wild, he could spill his food - it didn't matter because it was the forest floor. I see so many parents upset when the child spills his milk and wants to make patterns with it on the table. He's not doing something wrong, it's important investigation and exploration."</div>
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- Jane Goodall,</div>
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I learned the importance of contact, affection and play. Reassurance. And the importance of distracting rather than punishing when the infant is too small to understand, and then gradually teaching rules.

On living with chimpanzees: "I learned the importance of contact, affection and play. Reassurance. And the importance of distrac...

We need to hear their voices the children within.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: We need to hear their voices the children within.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Pausing to listen to an airplane in the sky, stooping to watch a ladybug on a plant, sitting on a rock to watch the waves crash over th...

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Pausing to listen to an airplane in the sky, stooping to watch a ladybug on a plant, sitting on a rock to watch the waves crash over the quayside - children have their own agendas and timescales. As they find out more about their world and their place in it, they work hard not to let adults hurry them. We need to hear their voices the children within.</div>
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<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/05/we-are-unwittingly-being-constantly.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/341513094_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/05/we-are-unwittingly-being-constantly.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">We are unwittingly being constantly influenced or covertly controlled by our unconscious child within.</a></li>
<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://intuitivevoices.blogspot.com/2015/05/the-reason-why-stages-is-taught-study.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/noimg_67_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://intuitivevoices.blogspot.com/2015/05/the-reason-why-stages-is-taught-study.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">The reason why the stages is a taught study course is that it is painful thing to wake up - and make contact with your child within.</a></li>
<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/05/contacting-our-child-within-to-ground.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/342793965_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/05/contacting-our-child-within-to-ground.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Contacting our Child Within to ground ourselves from the feelings of dissociation.</a></li>
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We need to hear their voices the children within.

Pausing to listen to an airplane in the sky, stooping to watch a ladybug on a plant, sitting on a rock to watch the waves crash over th...

Loving our child within is circular recovery, a kind of feedback loop.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Loving our child within is circular recovery, a kind of feedback loop.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Loving our child within is circular recovery, a kind of feedback loop. The more you give, the more you get, and the more you get, the more...

Loving our child within is circular recovery, a kind of feedback loop.

Loving our child within is circular recovery, a kind of feedback loop. The more you give, the more you get, and the more you get, the more...

Contacting the child within has to be attempted by not using the parent voice of course we at first do not recognise our parental voice but our child within instantly recognises the voice of its abuser.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Contacting the child within has to be attempted by not using the parent voice of course we at first do not recognise our parental voice but our child within instantly recognises the voice of its abuser.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Contacting the child within has to be attempted by not using the parent voice of course we at first do not recognise our parental voice ...

<br />
<br />
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Contacting the child within has to be attempted by not using the parent voice of course we at first do not recognise our parental voice but our child within instantly recognises the voice of its abuser. it help us see that children don't really misbehave. Interestingly enough, the term is almost exclusively applied to children – seldom to adults. We never hear people say:<br />
''My husband misbehaved yesterday."<br />
"One of our guests misbehaved at the party last night."<br />
"I got so angry when my friend misbehaved during lunch."<br />
"My employees have been misbehaving lately.''<br />
<br />
Apparently, it's only children who are seen as misbehaving - no one else. Misbehaviour is exclusively parent and teacher language, tied up somehow with how adults have traditionally viewed children. It is also used in almost every book on parenting I've read, and I've read quite a few.<br />
<br />
I think adults say a child misbehaves whenever some specific action is judged as contrary to how the adult thinks the child should behave. The verdict of misbehaviour, then, is clearly a value judgment made by the adult - a label placed on some particular behaviour, a negative judgment of what the child is doing. Misbehaviour thus is actually a specific action of the child that is seen by the adult as producing an undesirable consequence for the adult. What makes a child's behaviour misbehaviour (bad behaviour) is the perception that the behaviour is, or might be, bad behaviour for the adult. The "badness'' of the behaviour actually resides in the adult's mind, not the child's; the child in fact is doing what he or she chooses or needs to do to satisfy some need.<br />
<br />
Put another way, the adult experiences the badness, not the child. Even more accurately, it is the consequences of the child's behaviour for the adult that are felt to be bad (or potentially bad), not the behaviour itself.<br />
<br />
When we grasp this critical distinction, we experience a marked shift in attitude toward  children within. we begin to see all actions of youngsters simply as behaviours, engaged in solely for the purpose of getting needs met. When adults begin to see children as persons like themselves, engaging in various behaviours to satisfy normal human needs, they are much less inclined to evaluate the behaviours as good or bad.<br />
<br />
Accepting that children don't really misbehave doesn't mean, however, that adults will always feel accepting of what they do. Nor should they be expected to, for children are bound to do things that adults don't like, things that interfere with their own "pursuit of happiness.'' But even then, the child is not a misbehaving or bad child, not trying to do something to the adult, but rather is only trying to do something for himself.<br />
<br />
Only when we make this important shift - changing the locus of the problem from the child to the adult - can they begin to appreciate the logic of non-power alternatives for dealing with behaviours they don't accept.<br />
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Contacting the child within has to be attempted by not using the parent voice of course we at first do not recognise our parental voice but our child within instantly recognises the voice of its abuser.

Contacting the child within has to be attempted by not using the parent voice of course we at first do not recognise our parental voice ...

Our emotional traumas, and our scrambled minds, our subconscious programming, what the child within causes us to do is abandon ourselves.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Our emotional traumas, and our scrambled minds, our subconscious programming, what the child within causes us to do is abandon ourselves.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Our emotional traumas, and our scrambled minds, our subconscious programming, what the child within causes us to do is abandon ourselves....

Our emotional traumas, and our scrambled minds, our subconscious programming, what the child within causes us to do is abandon ourselves.

Our emotional traumas, and our scrambled minds, our subconscious programming, what the child within causes us to do is abandon ourselves....

It is through contacting our child within, by grieving our traumas that we suffered, that we can change our behaviour patterns

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: It is through contacting our child within, by grieving our traumas that we suffered, that we can change our behaviour patterns
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

It is through contacting our child within, by grieving our traumas that we suffered, that we can change our behaviour patterns and clear ...

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It is through contacting our child within,  by grieving our traumas that we suffered, that we can change our behaviour patterns and clear our emotional processes.  We can release the grief with its pent-up rage, shame, terror, and pain from the child within which exist inside us.<br />
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It is through contacting our child within, by grieving our traumas that we suffered, that we can change our behaviour patterns

It is through contacting our child within, by grieving our traumas that we suffered, that we can change our behaviour patterns and clear ...

Helping someone to continue to self destruct is not support

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Helping someone to continue to self destruct is not support
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Rescuing someone who is actively practicing addiction of some kind, is enabling. It is dysfunctional because it supports the person ...

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Rescuing someone who is actively practicing addiction of some kind, is enabling.  It is dysfunctional because it supports the person in continuing to practice their addiction.   A person in recovery working on getting healthier may need some help from time to time - and that is great, that is being supportive in a positive manner.  Helping someone to continue to self destruct is not support, it is codependency - it is also not Loving.

Helping someone to continue to self destruct is not support

Rescuing someone who is actively practicing addiction of some kind, is enabling. It is dysfunctional because it supports the person ...

Learning to understand,That a decision that life was not worth living it was something to ‘get through’ as smoothly and mindlessly as possible until we could die.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Learning to understand,That a decision that life was not worth living it was something to ‘get through’ as smoothly and mindlessly as possible until we could die.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Learning to understand,That a decision that life was not worth living it was something to ‘get through’ as smoothly and mindlessly as possi...

Learning to understand,That a decision that life was not worth living  it was something to ‘get through’ as smoothly and mindlessly as possible until we could die. The rule had been to imperceptibly stay as non-present as possible, while going about the business of doing what we had to do to ‘survive’, to pass as human. That was a rule we learned deep, deep down.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRqySqgrdsTFObaHPMrwpjRjHolQRR7mGu80AHM2e6XNQJbaX85lYdsKthPWAnoduW52lyLcF1zvRfeRP2BF4h2nQiKK4pXfKRq_UOklrlqKninNXM9GrG2PtSq8B5cZlqm1t9fA9wu-HU/s1600/10702029_10152783722207755_4458114362206719862_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRqySqgrdsTFObaHPMrwpjRjHolQRR7mGu80AHM2e6XNQJbaX85lYdsKthPWAnoduW52lyLcF1zvRfeRP2BF4h2nQiKK4pXfKRq_UOklrlqKninNXM9GrG2PtSq8B5cZlqm1t9fA9wu-HU/s320/10702029_10152783722207755_4458114362206719862_n.jpg" width="278" /></a></div>

Learning to understand,That a decision that life was not worth living it was something to ‘get through’ as smoothly and mindlessly as possible until we could die.

Learning to understand,That a decision that life was not worth living it was something to ‘get through’ as smoothly and mindlessly as possi...

Child Within blocks of pain, sorrow, anger, and despair always want to come up into our mind

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Child Within blocks of pain, sorrow, anger, and despair always want to come up into our mind
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Child Within blocks of pain, sorrow, anger, and despair always want to come up into our mind , because they’ve swollen and need our atten...

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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqdlQz01vVjGOGT6f9cEHm92nSdLrKvv45lOnk13LEhcJ9WWKyBe-yqIrtVaidJauh8kviYct3JRaN0DVsFp0Vvcaei84M_Gbf3EyfGZqHxvMl464ORrcaUN1CQTVlrN_J-Tc1HnTqRGzr/s1600/oldman+child.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqdlQz01vVjGOGT6f9cEHm92nSdLrKvv45lOnk13LEhcJ9WWKyBe-yqIrtVaidJauh8kviYct3JRaN0DVsFp0Vvcaei84M_Gbf3EyfGZqHxvMl464ORrcaUN1CQTVlrN_J-Tc1HnTqRGzr/s1600/oldman+child.jpeg" /></a></div>
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Child Within blocks of pain, sorrow, anger, and despair always want to come up into our mind , because they’ve swollen and need our attention, they are at the very roots of our addictions. They want to emerge, but we don’t want these uninvited guests to invade our adult space because they’re painful to look at. So we try to block their way. We want them to stay asleep down in the basement of our child within. We don’t want to face them, so our habit is to fill our mind with other guests. Whenever we have te<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">n or fifteen minutes of free time, we do anything we can to keep our living room occupied. We call a friend. We pick up a book. We turn on the television. We go for a drive. We hope that if the mind is occupied, these unpleasant ghosts from our past will not come up.</span></div>
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But all mind needs circulation. If we don’t let them come up, it creates bad circulation in our mind, and symptoms of addiction and depression begin to manifest once more in our mind and body.</div>
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Sometimes when we have a headache, we take aspirin, but our headache doesn’t go away. Sometimes this kind of headache can be a symptom of addiction. Perhaps we have allergies. We think it’s a physical problem, but allergies can also be a symptom of mental turmoil. We are advised by doctors to take drugs, but sometimes these will continue to suppress our child within, making our sickness deeper.</div>
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<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://intuitivecontact.blogspot.com/2015/04/to-practice-this-love-meditation-sit.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/336853063_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://intuitivecontact.blogspot.com/2015/04/to-practice-this-love-meditation-sit.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">To practice this love meditation, sit still, calm your body and your breathing, and recite it to yourself.</a></li>
<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/06/abuse-and-lack-of-respect-during.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/noimg_127_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/06/abuse-and-lack-of-respect-during.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Abuse and lack of respect during childhood creates within us a lost, frightened and frozen child within.</a></li>
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Child Within blocks of pain, sorrow, anger, and despair always want to come up into our mind

Child Within blocks of pain, sorrow, anger, and despair always want to come up into our mind , because they’ve swollen and need our atten...

The energy of GATZO is the salve that will recognise and heal the child within. But how do we cultivate this energy?

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: The energy of GATZO is the salve that will recognise and heal the child within. But how do we cultivate this energy?
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

The energy of GATZO is the salve that will recognise and heal the child within. But how do we cultivate this energy? To cultivate the ene...

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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBNhzdPZfrWUfAcIi4m1HAKbq_nVtHXZd9TikTMo8XItsUgvYvWZHd9Ag0pPQ-6fs_9R45O88XMLU0BNF72Z0NL60-ComOcorg3Wr31GSoqpJt99G8wJvW4_VmP3zsJyP5vt9-C4it4_kT/s1600/oldman+child.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBNhzdPZfrWUfAcIi4m1HAKbq_nVtHXZd9TikTMo8XItsUgvYvWZHd9Ag0pPQ-6fs_9R45O88XMLU0BNF72Z0NL60-ComOcorg3Wr31GSoqpJt99G8wJvW4_VmP3zsJyP5vt9-C4it4_kT/s1600/oldman+child.jpeg" /></a></div>
The energy of GATZO is the salve that will recognise and heal the child within. But how do we cultivate this energy?<br />
To cultivate the energy of GATZO, we try to engage our active awareness in all our activities and be truly present with whatever we are doing. We want to be GATZO as we drink our tea or drive through the city. When we walk, we want to be aware that we are walking. When we breathe, we want to be aware that we are breathing.GATZO is to be alive living in the moment.<br />
The land of DISSY is where all our past traumatic experiences are stored. Dissy has no capacity to learn and to process information.It is the festering wound of childhood resentment, it requires explanations.But does not want to hear them. Its obsessive, Dissy is our escape route from life its the cold dark room our child within is locked inside.Dissy has become our unending spaced out pain.<br />
Often our dissy mind is not there within our body. Sometimes we go through our daily activities without engaging the mind being involved at all. We can do many things by means of stored dissy consciousness alone, and dissy mind consciousness can be thinking of a thousand other escape routes at the same time.Flying from past to present and on to negative forward projections.Constantly moving!<br />
Dissy memory is like being in a house trapped in the basement it is our hidden thoughts and up above is the living room our actual reality. Negative emotions like anger, sorrow, or resentments, rest in the dissy store in the form of weeds. We have a weed of anger, despair, discrimination, fear. Dissy memory is made of the totality of the weeds, and it is also the soil that preserves and maintains all the weeds. The weeds stay there until we hear, see, read, or think of something that touches a weed and makes us feel the anger, or sorrow or bitter restments of the past. This is our weeds coming up and manifesting on the level of our reality, in our living room. Now we no longer call it a weed, but our tormented emotions.<br />
When someone touches the weed of anger by saying something or doing something that upsets us, that weed of anger will come up and manifest in Dissy solutions as the escape route for this fear ,anger and resentment. The word “DISSY” is a term for something that’s created by many childhood conditions coming together. My anger/fear is a dissy formation of past experiences . Varieties of weeds can manifest as a dissy formation. Anger is just one of them. In Dissy memory, anger, fear, resentment, hatred are called weeds.<br />
Whenever a weed, say the weed of anger, comes up into our living room and manifests , the first thing we can do is to touch the weed Dissy memory recognises and embraces anger from childhood rage and immediately sparks a dissociation an escape route back into the basement unthinking and automatic, food, drugs,drink sex or completely mindless zombie wanderings cause us to look for instant temporary relief.<br />
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The energy of GATZO is the salve that will recognise and heal the child within. But how do we cultivate this energy?

The energy of GATZO is the salve that will recognise and heal the child within. But how do we cultivate this energy? To cultivate the ene...

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